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You know those people who are constantly focusing on the negative? Those people that, no matter what it is you tell them, will always find something bad in it?
Those people, they worry all the time. Their lives are constantly focused on thinking about “what could go wrong” and then worrying.
What? What’s that you say? You’re one of “those people?”
Worrying Is Like…
My mom is one of those people I mentioned above. No matter what I tell her—good things or otherwise—she immediately hones in on “what could go wrong” and then starts to worry.
For example, the other day I told her that, just for fun, I applied to be on an amateur episode of Chopped (my favorite cooking show). Instead of saying something like, “that’s great” or “good luck,” she immediately went to what could go wrong and said to me: “What? No! People cut their fingers on that show!”
Seriously.
And the whole time I’m thinking, people can cut their fingers in their home kitchens too. It’s not like the risk is higher on Chopped (or maybe it is because of the contestants’ work speeds, but still).
That’s why I’m always quoting one of my favorite movies (Van Wilder) and telling her:
“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it’s fun for awhile but it won’t get you anywhere”
Write that down.
The #1 Reason to Stop Worrying
There are many reasons why you should stop worrying, but I’d say the biggest one is because it’s out of your hands.
Shit happens in life. Fate steps in. Good and bad occurs. And there’s not much you can do about it.
You can’t control how many publishers will reject your manuscript. You can’t predict exactly how many people will buy your book the week it comes out. You can’t do a lot of things that are out of your control.
So why are you still worrying about it?
Worrying is pointless. It’s just added stress that your body doesn’t need.
What your body needs is rest and relaxation.Your mind needs clarity to focus on your creative work. And it’s a little hard to do that when your mind/body are filled with worry.
How To Give Up Worrying
Giving up worrying isn’t something that will happen overnight, but if you work at it a little every day, you can shift your focus and energy to more important things, like creativity.
Here are my tips to stop worrying:
- Focus solely on what you can control—if you spend your time focused completely on doing your very best at everything that you do, you won’t have time to worry. And you’ll start to feel more confident about the outcome anyhow because you’re working so hard.
- Shift your thoughts—whenever a worrisome thought pops up, immediately stomp it out by thinking of something positive. Do this over and over again. Even if you find yourself doing it a hundred times a day at first.
- Trust and give the outcome to the Universe—at the end of the day, the Universe is there for you and will support you. You just have to believe it. When I was trying to change my worrisome ways, I began saying to myself over and over again all day long: “Everything always works out in my favor.” I choose to see all situations as good (or bad, but with a silver lining). Because I do this, everything tends to work out for me.
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How do you overcome your worrying ways?
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This is a topic that hits close to home for me! For whatever reason, I came into this world as a naturally worrisome kid. I was always looking for something to go wrong, fretting about what other people thought of me, etc. But somewhere in my early 30′s I just got tired of the physical and emotional toil all that worrying was taking and I really started working on that issue. I’m in my 40′s now, and I won’t say I **never** worry, but it’s definitely not standard operating procedure like it used to be. I agree that when you just chill out and trust, the Universe will support you…often in surprising ways.
The story about your mom fussing over you cutting your fingers on national television was too funny! My stepmom is like that. If you quit your job, you’ll never find another one. If you’re selling your house (which we are), it’s going to be a neverending nightmare and you won’t get even near your asking price. Blah, blah. I love her to death, but…really? All that doom cloud crap is exhausting to listen to!
Well…I hope you get on “Chopped”. : ) I’m always fascinated by how these people can create something edible out of the strange ingredients they’re given to work with (one episode I just watched included blueberry jelly beans in the basket…wth?). And to do it under pressure…genius!
I’m glad you’ve found a way to deal with worry. I feel bad when I see people in a constant cycle of worry and stress (ex: my mom). And yes, haha she goes a bit far with the worrying! Thanks for the encouragement! I have no idea if I’d have what it takes to win, but I’d love, love, love the opportunity to try.
I think just getting to be on Chopped would be a blast! And I’ve loved Ted Allen since his “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” days. Weird question, but since you’re gluten and (I think?) dairy free, would you have a problem if one of those ended up in your basket and you had to use them? I guess you wouldn’t be eating the dishes yourself, but still. Yeesh, I’m already planning ahead that you’ll be on the show! : )
I know right??! I thought about that too actually and I think I’ll be OK because I only discovered my gluten and dairy allergies two years ago so I spent a lot of my life cooking with those ingredients. I think I’d be able to handle it.